


Hatred (revisited)

by taradiane



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Angst, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-04-05
Updated: 2014-04-05
Packaged: 2018-01-18 05:31:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,473
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1416874
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/taradiane/pseuds/taradiane
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Draco has turned spy for Dumbledore, and is about to embark on a mission.  Harry doesn't want him to go, and Draco is determined to make him admit the reason why.</p>
<p>*Please see notes below - this is a companion piece to a story no longer online, though it is not necessary to have read that fic for this piece to make sense.  Hopefully my summary of that story in the notes below will suffice in setting up where my story begins.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Hatred (revisited)

**Author's Note:**

> Written in May 2003 with Maya's permission.
> 
> This is a companion piece to Maya's (aka mistful, who has since changed her LJ name since being published in the real world) story 'Hatred.' It was a story told from Dudley's POV regarding his relationship with Harry, and his need to possess his cousin...wanting to be the sole cause of Harry's hatred. The story spanned Harry's (up to that point) four years at Hogwarts, and the differences that Dudley noticed in him every summer...Particularly the difference in where Harry's hatred was directed - no longer at Dudley, but at these new forces in Harry's life (namely Voldemort & Draco). In one scene, Dudley sees Draco from a distance as he visits Harry at Privet Drive, and Dudley then knows that Draco owns a piece of Harry that used to belong to Dudley - all that hatred and ire. Dudley yearns to discover Draco's secret of how he stole Harry from him. 
> 
> Maya's story ends with a scene that takes place in the garden at Privet Drive on a cold, rainy night. Dudley witnesses a very intense conversation between Harry and Draco, who has turned spy for the Dumbledore and is about to go off and play his part. It is obvious from Dudley's POV that Harry's feelings toward Draco have altered significantly as he begs Draco not to go. They argue, a physical struggle ensues, and Harry, in his desperation, kisses Draco. Dudley finally understands that Harry's hatred isn't what Draco possesses, but something else entirely. Draco pleads with Harry to finally say what he knows Harry needs to say, the reason why he doesn't want Draco to go. That is where her story ends, and where my story begins.

~*~

"Why do you even care!" My words come out full of anger and exhaustion and…desperation.

Harry's hands are wrapped around my wrists, pinning them together against the cold, wet ground; he is bent over me, his knees bent between my legs as I try to kick him off of me.

I struggle to break free from his grasp, arching my back to try and gain leverage, but he is unrelenting. My eyes lock with his - fiery emerald boring into cold steel. I can feel his rapid breaths brushing against my neck.

I still myself, relaxing against the almost-painful grip, defeated, eyes pleading for a reply. Rivulets of rainwater run down the sides of his face, pooling at his chin and falling into the hollow of my throat. He lowers a hand to my temple, eyes speaking the truths that his mouth cannot - will not - as he trails his finger down my cheek and jaw, resting against the drumming pulse on my neck. My eyes widen at this unexpected, yet desired, change; anger in his eyes changing to what I can only hope is resolve. He's deciding. It's now or never. _Now, Harry…please let it be now._

"You know why, Draco. You know why," he says to me, oh so desperately. Of course I do, but it's not enough. I need to hear it. I need admission.

"Say it, Harry," I barely whisper, stretching my fingers out to curl around the hand still holding me down. His lips start to move, but no words come out.

"Say it," I manage through clenched teeth. My anger is rising again - anger at his stubbornness, and anger at the fact that his legs between mine and his hand holding me captive is making me harder than I've ever been in my life. _Now, please._

"I…I want-"

I raise my leg and wrap it around his waist, forcing his body down against mine. I want him to feel me, to feel just how much I know what he can't bring himself to say; hoping it will make it easier for him to finally admit what we both already know is my reason for being here. I'm not the only one aching. He moans as our bodies meet, a low guttural moan that sends a violent shiver throughout my body.

"Harry," I let the word roll of my tongue, barely making a sound. His rain-soaked hair is tickling my forehead as I watch droplets of warm summer rain trace the outline of his bottom lip, wanting so badly to taste the undoubtedly sweet skin - to drink from it.

"I need-"

"You won’t be able to take it back, Harry. What you say now will exist between us forever." _If we get to forever._

His brow starts to furrow, and I fear that he is going to change his mind and run. But he doesn't. A look of amazing and pure clarity crosses his features just as I am starting to resign myself to give up on him…again.

"I need…you."

I waste no time in doing what I've been wanting to do for three years - I grab the back of his head and raise my own, our mouths crashing together in sweet pain. Just the feeling of his tongue in my mouth nearly pushes me over the edge, and when he licks a trail down my neck I hear myself gasping "Oh God, finally." I arch against him, grasping at his drenched shirt as if I'm falling; no longer feeling the ground beneath me, only his warm and trembling body pressed against mine.

Faint words are coming from his lips as they skirt across my throat and jaw, broken declarations and snippets of secrets he's ready to share. "So beautiful…wanted this for so long…please…taste so good…belong to me…love you…can't leave me…"

He bites the skin at my collarbone, suckling the rainwater that has come off his own skin. He thrusts against me, and shockwaves of pure pleasure shoot through me. I pull on his hair to bring his mouth back to mine, but he is more intent on marking my flesh. His hands are scrambling to get under my shirt, and I hear buttons popping off as he finally claims my mouth once again. His fingers are cold against my chest, but I don't mind.

I see movement in the bushes from the corner of my eye, and I know that _he_ is watching. He's always watching us, his face distorted in unadulterated jealousy and greed. This moment is ours, and he can't have it.

"Harry…Harry, no," I can barely get the words out.

His hands are at my waist, and I feel the buckle of my belt coming undone; his tongue tracing the ridges of my ear. I release my hold on him and place my hands between our bodies, pushing against his chest. He nips the sensitive flesh behind my ear and slides his fingers into the waistband of my trousers, dangerously close to the point of no return.

"Harry, no!" I push at him more strongly, nearly throwing him off of me.

"What?" He looks at me, lips swollen and breath ragged, irises blackened with lust. The fact that this is because of me makes my legs shiver and my fingertips tingle; my cock twitches, weeping for his attention.

"Your cousin…he's watching," I whisper, more from necessity than choice because I don't think I can actually speak at this point.

Harry's shoulders stiffen and his eyes narrow, hatred overtaking his features. He bows his head, his hair like wet silk against my neck and lets out a painful whimper. His erection is pressed to mine and my only focus is getting him off of me before I change my mind and give his cousin the best show of his miserable, gluttonous life.

I push on Harry's shoulders more gently this time and he rolls off of me, sitting up beside me on the step, shoulders sagging. I lay there for another moment, trying to catch my breath. I look over at him and see him staring at my arousal. His tongue flickers out against the corner of his mouth and I have to look away. I can feel his eyes running up the length of my body, stopping to stare at my face. I pull myself up and lean back on my elbows, staring straight ahead into the moonlit garden across the way.

"I need to go," I say softly.

"You don't."

"Harry-"

"Don't say it. I don't want to hear you say it." His head drops into his hands and he runs his fingers through his hair, sighing.

I look over at him now, guilt and desire and an overwhelming need to hold him coursing through my veins.

"You don't know what I was going to say."

He stands up, turns to me, and offers me his hand. I take hold and he helps me to my feet, keeping his grip on my hand and staring solemnly at the ground.

"Harry,"

"Yes,"

"I'll come back," I take a step closer to him, pushing the hair out of his eyes so that he can look at me. He doesn't, and I take his chin to tilt his head up. I wish I hadn't - dejection is swimming in his gaze, taking hold of him.

"This…all of this, it's always been for you. Just know that."

He gives me a bittersweet grin. "I can't stop you from going, can I?"

"I'll be alright."

"But-"

"I need you to be okay with this. I can't go with you hating me for leaving."

"I hate you then," he says quietly, squeezing my hand.

"Harry, don't."

"You can't ask me to be okay with this. Would you, if the tables were turned?" He's looking at me earnestly, daring me to deny it, and I can't because I know he's right.

"Go," he says suddenly, bringing my hand to his mouth and kissing my fingertips.

I move my hand to caress his cheek, leaning towards him and letting my lips barely brush against his. His hands grip my arms so forcefully that I know I'll have bruises there tomorrow. He pulls me to him and embraces me. His cheek is wet against mine, and I don't know if it's raindrops or tears that are falling onto my shoulder.

He pushes me away, fingers gripping the cuff of my sleeve a moment too long before finally letting go. I place my hand in my pocket, ready to touch the Portkey that lies within. I take in the vision before me, etching it into my memory for future comfort.

Harry, standing before me…wanting me…loving me.

I wrap my fingers around my mother's amulet and feel myself being pulled away.


End file.
